It wasn’t the first time and it won’t be the last but somebody tried to throw shade today. Something along the lines of “I wouldn’t be raising my grandbaby or letting my daughter still live with me at 21.” It went RIGHT over my head causeee “if it don’t apply, let it fly” right?
I live in a multi-generational household, 3,000+ miles away from my baby’s father and my paternal family, and I don’t work. And there is nothing ANYBODY could say about or to me to make me feel shame, guilt, embarrassment, or pity about my situation. Not now, not ever.
Yes, I am “spoiled” and yes, I “don’t have any hustle” (that’s bullsh*t but imma let y’all have that one) but what I am NOT & will never be, is a lazy or half-assed parent. I raise my child, day in and out. Me. Not my mama. Not my grandma. Me. Destiny. And I feel no shame or embarrassment about how I do it. I’d have this child, by myself, in the midst of a pandemic, 100 times more. You can’t make me feel shame about a decision I made in good faith. Bean was, and will forever be, my decision in good faith. I will stay home with her, making it do what it do, everyday till I die if I want to. I am blessed to be able to. I am blessed to have grandparents and parents that love me and will fill in the gaps for me while I figure out who I want to be as a woman; you can die mad about that.
I don’t believe in unnecessary struggle and I’m not going to start in order to prove a point to ANYBODY. I refuse to stress myself out trying to prove points to people who ain’t feeding, freaking, or financing me. I mean that. So, go on and chat and pass jokes about me back and forth but remember these things:
1: EYE am Bean’s Mama. I do the raising. Not my mama. Not my granny.
2: I can be away from my mama. I’m choosing not to.
3: I was not, and am not, ashamed about having a child “young”. I’d do it again if I felt like it.
4: I can not be shaken or broken.